I am maturing and it is a frightening thought. For the first time since MTV has been on the air, I missed the VMAs. OK, I boycotted it after Britneys performance and Sarah Silvermans (yawnnnnnnnn) monologue. I knew that if I continued to watch-I would get mad. I don't like being bored.
Britney, Britney, Britney. Sighhhhhhhh. Let me find something nice to say. Hmmmm. Heyyyyyy, I almost liked your song. (smile) The beat is FIYAHHHHHHHHH. Go find some lyrics-STAT!
Somewhere on this planet, Paula Abdul is screaming YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS because someone ELSE had the worse costume (???) ever on television.
I love Britney. I have defended her music and singing abilities for YEARS but they just laugh. Didn't Britney learn from the Onyx Hotel Slutfest tour that the stripper look is out?
The saucy sassy Britney is gone. What I witnessed was a performer who should have been seasoned in the Razzle Dazzle performing like a Pussycat Doll cast off. I feel like crying.
Why? Because she is soooo YOUNG.
Rhianna had NERVE to laugh at Britney. I would rather listen to a Britney marathon than one note of Rhianna. I will never forgive Jay Z for introducing her to my ears. I forgave him for stealing Biggies lyrics, but I have had enough.
I couldn't and wouldn't watch another second of that show. I know that MTV is youth oriented and gay ran, but they need an old head or five up there to bring life back into that station.
Truth be told, after Tupac and Biggie were murdered-I stopped watching MTV and slid over to VH1. I have seperated from VH1 as well. I haven't signed the final divorce decree on that as yet.
BET used to be my pride and joy, but UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. The rented house, rented women, and rented music is OLD.
Britney, put some clothes on and bring back the Razzle Dazzle. Please prove to me that there isn't a Justin Timberlake curse on the women he has performed with.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Video killed the Radio Star, but The Internet Killed the Superstar
Anonymity is a good thing. It really is. Everyone has a reality show. Who cares? Do I really want to waste an hour of my time watching you whine and moan or spend obscene amounts of money on panties? I mean really. It's only an ass. Who needs $900 worth of drawers?
I have no desire to watch the VMA's because I have read everything there is about it. It will be on Youtube on Monday anyway and Mtv will run it ad nauseum. Mtv is already ruining it for me by showing the rehearsals-even the so called surprises online.
If you are online you pretty much knows who have purchased their awards before hand. The surprises are just not THERE. I am a purist, if I wanted to listen to pre-recorded tracks, I might as well listen to the damned record. Yes, I know first hand how hard it is to sing and dance, but guess what-I don't care. Push through that diaphragm and do that ish LIVE.
Plug in some amps, tune a guitar, a bass, and bring out a slamming kick assed drummer. We will forgive you if you have a keyboardist. Just PERFORM!
I don't want to go online while paying $1200 a year for cable. I want three hours of screaming like I was there and yelling at my tv-"DO THAT ISH GIRL/GUY!" I want the pleasure of scaring my cat while prancing around in my drawers and t-shirt emulating my inner insert artist here. When I get up to pee at the commercial, tease me to hurry up as if I were to tarry too long, I would miss something SPECIAL.
Don't cut backstage, I don't want to see my favorite artist high or drunk for ratings. I really don't want to hear many of them speak until they get speech lessons and diction lessons.
Too keep things exciting, bring in a loose cannon or two. A rebel. Someone who will have the producers and censors on edge. Reunite two formerly feuding performers. We the audience love that tear factor.
There really hasn't been a SUPERSTAR since the 90's. They are constantly in your face over and over. They aren't wearing panties (there goes the drawlz reference again)they are blatantly flaunting their status as assholes knocking real news off to reveal that a certain mother had her ass cheeks out once again.
Newsflash-stripping is now mainstream. It doesn't shock us nor titillate us anymore. Note to a few ladies, Tina Turner, Lola Falana, and Cher wants their acts back. For Pete's sake please, please, please find a new act!
Put the PERFORMANCE factor back into award shows. The razzle dazzle. The glamour, the fashion OMG fired your stylist!
Stop coddling these artists until they have EARNED the right for special treatment.
Most of all-keep it offline!
P.S.-find a real Comedian who is FUNNY. Plenty of them out there, find one-STAT-they keep the show moving!
I have no desire to watch the VMA's because I have read everything there is about it. It will be on Youtube on Monday anyway and Mtv will run it ad nauseum. Mtv is already ruining it for me by showing the rehearsals-even the so called surprises online.
If you are online you pretty much knows who have purchased their awards before hand. The surprises are just not THERE. I am a purist, if I wanted to listen to pre-recorded tracks, I might as well listen to the damned record. Yes, I know first hand how hard it is to sing and dance, but guess what-I don't care. Push through that diaphragm and do that ish LIVE.
Plug in some amps, tune a guitar, a bass, and bring out a slamming kick assed drummer. We will forgive you if you have a keyboardist. Just PERFORM!
I don't want to go online while paying $1200 a year for cable. I want three hours of screaming like I was there and yelling at my tv-"DO THAT ISH GIRL/GUY!" I want the pleasure of scaring my cat while prancing around in my drawers and t-shirt emulating my inner insert artist here. When I get up to pee at the commercial, tease me to hurry up as if I were to tarry too long, I would miss something SPECIAL.
Don't cut backstage, I don't want to see my favorite artist high or drunk for ratings. I really don't want to hear many of them speak until they get speech lessons and diction lessons.
Too keep things exciting, bring in a loose cannon or two. A rebel. Someone who will have the producers and censors on edge. Reunite two formerly feuding performers. We the audience love that tear factor.
There really hasn't been a SUPERSTAR since the 90's. They are constantly in your face over and over. They aren't wearing panties (there goes the drawlz reference again)they are blatantly flaunting their status as assholes knocking real news off to reveal that a certain mother had her ass cheeks out once again.
Newsflash-stripping is now mainstream. It doesn't shock us nor titillate us anymore. Note to a few ladies, Tina Turner, Lola Falana, and Cher wants their acts back. For Pete's sake please, please, please find a new act!
Put the PERFORMANCE factor back into award shows. The razzle dazzle. The glamour, the fashion OMG fired your stylist!
Stop coddling these artists until they have EARNED the right for special treatment.
Most of all-keep it offline!
P.S.-find a real Comedian who is FUNNY. Plenty of them out there, find one-STAT-they keep the show moving!
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