To my 30, 40 and up somethings

Aren't you glad you didn't go through your youth in the cyber age? lol I cannot fathom going through high school, college and my twenties online. lol

The closest thing to today was "hitting someone up on their beeper" lol and even THAT annoyed me! Memba #911? lol

We had video cameras and yeah, some folks were wicked with them-but you didn't have what the young folks have today. Todays sins is Todays Youtube. lol

Just think in your private thoughts, some of the "fun" you had back in the day. Can you imagine that two faced jealous heffa posting it for the world to see? We laugh about sex tapes, but can you imagine folks videoing you without your knowledge and creating a website about you?

One of the things I think about our age group that is blatantly different is the fact that we actually had the human touch. We left our homes and hung out with our friends. We got to know people on a personal not technological level.

Whether it was raising and lowering the shade in your bedroom window to signal that you were ready to hang out, or just knowing that you would be going somewhere on the weekends helped that bond.

Our generation was the last of the human touch generation. Times are a changing and it is not for the better.

The Media and this Election is PISSING ME OFF!!!

I am tired of turning on my television and seeing kindergarten antics being performed by so called journalists and people who are wanting MY VOTE!

It is times like this that I miss my beloved Peter Jennings and Tim Russert. I cannot fathom them entertaining this kind of non-sense. WHEN ARE THE REAL ISSUES going to come into play?

Unemployment is up by 6% and folks are wondering about a pitbull in a skirt? People are becoming HOMELESS and are STARVING right here in the United States and yet I have to listen to three days of lipstick on a pig?

This country is on the verge of a depression and the pundits are waving over everything but what really matters.

Why not discuss why in 2008 folks are willing to die before electing a black man to office?

John McCain is 72 years old. How can he and his camp try to attack Obama for a lipstick on a pig remark when on MY BIRTHDAY MAY 2ND of this year he used the VERY SAME quote in reference to Hillary Clinton!

I need for Obama to stop being MELLOW and really take these next fifty six days and HAMMER THE ISSUES back to the forefront of this election! His people need to be doing research and bringing forth what has been done these past eight years and call folks on the inconsistencies.

Sarah Palin was brought in a plug on a huge gash of a sinking ship. She isn't representing the best of what the United States is. I am tired of the bull-bring it back to where it ACTUALLY COUNTS because after November 4th I would like to open my eyes and knowing that I can actually go to a decent doctor because the quality and funding is there! I want healthcare that I can afford!

Because milk and gas cost the same, I don't want to choose which is more important.

I want both campaigns to bury the word CHANGE and I want to SEE CHANGE!

Rare private thoughts....

All of my life, folks have said to me: You are too real. For a period of time I then became a pathological liar because when I told the truth-no one one believed me. When I joined the church (my ninety ninth time trying to seek Gods people) I got something from God that I never received before: "You don't have to lie or be something you aren't just to please folk. You will NEVER ever please folk. Be it family, friends, or foes."

Now, before folks run to call the men in the white jackets-I swear I heard that voice in my head. I have head from that voice Many times. Sometimes I listen, Sometimes I don't. When I listen, I learn that there is a blessing in a lesson for me. When I don't, I have to go through whatever trial my disobedience has brought to me.

I have also learned that people really aren't interested in TRUTH or Realism. Because lies make them feel so much better. Whether a weave, penile implant or your run of the mill lie-they would rather live in that than truth.

I remember the day I stopped lying. I called my mother and had a rare one on one with her where she actually allow me to speak. I told my mom that I will not lie anymore because God's Word said, "That everything will fail and fall but His Word."

Another person who stopped me and my bad habit was my grrandmother. She used to say a liar is a thief and and thief is a murderer and it was both who put Christ on the cross.

She was concerned if I was drinking that special Kool Aide in my new church, and I assured her that I wasn't. Once we got past that, she listened to me. I know before she left this plane she finally understood why I think and act the way I do.

I can remember attending my very first concert. Kool and the Gang. Teena Marie and Jessie Johnson were also there. I was hanging with my Aunt and Cousin. Don't ask me why, but I went forward and the guards just let me backstage.

I didn't have to do anything trifling to go back there. All I did was WALK. Teena Marie had passed out after her set and I was concerned. I walked backstage and she was sitting on a trunk. I went right up to her and asked her if she was allright. She looked at me and saw my sincerity and we started talking. Next thing I knew various members of Kool and the Gang were coming up to me and inviting me to a party. I told them I had to ask my Aunt if I could go. lol

I went back to my seat and told my Aunt and Cousin that Kool and the Gang wanted to ask them something. lol Hell, I was fifteen. I had no authority. lol

My Aunt told them No, and I had an attitude. I wanted to go to the damned party! Noooooooooo, she told them she had to WORK the next day! lol

That is how my life has been. Trusting and a chance taker. I have been in three videos-not featured gals, but I was there! lol I went to a Motley Crue concert, next thing I knew I was in VIP (true VIP) with Slash and Steven Sweet.

Got an internship just cuz I was taliking to Greg Steele of Faster Pussycat about a Long Island teen serial killer. Greg still owes me ten bucks. lol

But life has been an adventure for me. I have never asked anyone for a handout. Ever.

I know so many folk that it would blow some of you alls mind. My sister can attest to this fact! lol But I have never kissed anyones ass EVER. I don't care who you THINK you are-you will RESPECT ME.

Maybe that's why I am slowly living out my dream of promoting people I believe in.

The lil liar changed her ways and became a Woman.

My sister who is younger than I am but thinks she is older inspiers me everyday. Though, I don't tell her all of the time cuz she's a Scorpio and yall know how they are-j/k. lol

She doesn't like me getting hurt and she has seen me hurt. She says I am too trusting-and I am too trusting.

I guess that is why I am so private in my thoughts and actions. Failing doesn't frighten me. It just makes me try again or learn what to give up on or do differernt.

I don't seek fame or fortune. I honestly don't. They say when a loved one passes that God gives us a lesson. My mother used to always sing this song; "Let the life I lead speak for me." I never truly understood that song until I heard some stranger sing it at her funeral.

It was powerful and painful at the same time. I cried not because I was hurt about losing my mom, of course I was-but it seems when God's spirit touches me-I cry.The folks in my church used to call me "The Weeping Prophetess." I could honestly feel the words in that song.

God allowed me to live past tumors in my breast and a double partial mastectomy at the age of 23 to see 40. I haven't always walked a perfect nor righteous life-but God knows my heart. My sincerity of seeking His Face.

Nothing I have done or have experienced has blessed me as much as sitting and laughing with my lil sis and my father this past weekend. I am rich to have them in my life.

No fame, or amount of paper can beat that in my book.

If God closed my eyes tonight forever, I can truly say to the world-NOTHING and I mean Nothing means more to me than my family, and I hope like my mom or even better than my mom-that the life I lead will speak for Me.

I aint trying to go nowhere no time soon-lol-but I have to let folks know that if God can carry me and reform me, Nothing is impossible for Him to do for YOU.

It has nothing to do with religion. It has everything in acknowledging that there is something higher than Us and why we should be respectful and honest to one another.

Have I arrived? Nope. Still trying to find that bible based Church Home...aint it a blessing that God is so patient with us?

R.I.P. Bernie "Mac Man" Mac

You know, there are some celebrity deaths that you go awwwwww. Then there are the ones who REALLY hit you HARD like a death in the family. The last time I felt this way was when Ray Charles passed.

My pain is NOTHING like the pain that his family is going through right now. I only knew OF Bernie Mac, they loved and lived with him.

I met the Mac Man wayyyyyyyyy back in the early Def Jam days. He was a naturally funny kind person.

In this business of fake folk-it was nice sitting and talking with someone who reminded you of your funny uncle Bug. lol Where you are holding your sides and just gasping for breath because what they are saying is TRUE but the delivery is just too funny. lol

I won't cry, but my heart is a little sad today. I will choose to do what I have been doing all day off an on. Remembering those one liners and laughing at his timeless jokes.

It's is OK to be YOU

I have been online a number of years and I have seen a lot. The one thing that sticks out to me is the sadness I see in womens writings, pictures and posts.

Seems like women are doing and advertising ANYTHING in hopes to gain attention. The funny thing is, that even the men try to tell the women that all of that extra stuff isn't necessary.

I have never seen so many bi-sexual, tri-sexual, super freaks of the weeks and women wonder why they continue to be single and lonely.

False advertising is the number complaint men have about us gals.

I will be discussing that and more and hopefully it will reach at least ONE person and turn her life around.

It is open for full discussion, questions and debates even. As long as it is done in love, everyone will be able to express ones self here.

Learn to love You First
Men don't do you more than what you ALLOW. That is the bald faced truth.

You see the signs, yet you pretend that you don't. Albert Einstein defines insanity as the act of doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I agree with Al.

You cannot be afraid to be alone. You really can't. You need to get to know you long before the Cosmo magazine and Vogue fashions of the moment. You need to get to know you before dating.

If you can't stand to be with YOU, how on Earth can you expect someone else to put up with you?

You say how or it's too hard. No it really isn't. Raw truth? If you have never put forth the effort, how do you know if it works or fail?

When is the last time you took yourself to dinner? How about a movie or lunch? By yourself?

Many of you will say never. You have always used a crutch to go out.

What if someone saw you by yourself-gasp! Get over yourself.

You see if you treat yourself, you will never allow anyone to treat you LESS than how you treat yourself.

Learn how to step out and do things for yourself by yourself and you will draw like minded individuals to you. It works, I promise. You can't do it under the guise of I am going out by myself to meet someone while pretending to get to know myself-that is lying to yourself. You have done it long enough without great results so why continue?

There isn't a woman on this planet who doesn't find flaws within herself. Too tall, too short, too fat, too thin, nose too wide, nose too thin, etc.

You are whom you are and no amount of plastic surgery is going to change that.

One of the biggest misconception is that women get plastic surgery to attract the opposite sex. That is a lie.

Just like fashion, plastic surgery is to make other women jealous. The extra benefit is drawing men to you-it is really to be competitive with other women. To have another woman look at you like you look at other women in envy.

As with all other shallow things, they are only temporal. It is designed that way.

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with make up and fashion. When you feel good about the way you look, you carry yourself differently. But you can't just lean on looks.

This weekend, take some time for yourself with just yourself. Even if you just take two hours just to take in a movie. Make that your quality time.

Fix yourself just as cute and sexy as if you would for a date. Don't be afraid, the only person who will be concerned about you being alone is you.

One of the things I love to do regardless if involved or single-I love cafes. I will take myself to a cafe and order a nice brunch then go to a museum. I take my time and I just ENJOY that moment.

Doing that taught me how to teach my mate how to enjoy that moment with me.

Just pondering

I watched Meet the Browns today. I have to say that I understand what Tyler is TRYING to do-but I just can't get into his movies. I have never seen any of his plays (I tried watching one on Youtube but I skipped through most of the songs) and I am proud of his success.

But a man cannot tell the Black Womans Plight. If you are a black woman dating in todays society-you understand Exactly what I am talking about. I am not bitter, sad, lonely or even angry. I am resolved that I will entire my twilight years alone and I have accepted it in my spirit. I feel if God wants me with that certain Boaz then he is really going to have to show me that HE is THE ONE because I have retired from dating.

My only sort of regret is that because of my staunch stance against being anyones Baby Mama-I probably will never birth a child in this world. But there are tons of kids in this country looking for a wonderful home and I can provide that for them when that time comes.

What frightens me are the women who have settled for fear of being alone. Good sistas with great heads on their shoulders.

Young women throwing themselves hoping that one of these knuckeheads will play the Pick Me Game.

Generational curses being repeated over and over.


So as I watched Meet the Browns, I felt sad for other sisters who are watching this movie who are single moms holding onto hope that one day a Rick Fox type will waltz into their lives and live the happily ever after.

My former dude or whatever still tries his little jedi mind tricks. I now laugh them off. I often ask myself, why couldn't I see that he WASN'T THE ONE when I was enamored with him? lol

I am never rude, but it is clear that I don't want to be bothered.

My take on the BET Awards 2008

Mannnnn, I am definately having one of those Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon moments. I am getting TOO old for this ish.

I reluctantly left USA's Law and Order marathon to watch the Bet Awards. First and foremost, can they PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE hire quality audio engineers? Please? It seemed that the first hour I had my television volume all of the way up and it still sounded crappy.

Sister Raymonds performance (Usher) didn't help. Dude has lost his Razzle Dazzle. Stop with the formulaic routines- ie: The Chicks will LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE this ish, and PERFORM, Please? He is becoming as predictable as a Beyonce booty shake (whom I am grateful that she sat out this year and didn't even show. Whoo! Love Beyonce, but I have seen WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY too much of her. Maybe she took my advice and took a Sade break)

Twenty two minutes into the show, I was ready to change the channel. But I wanted to see Quincy Jones and Al Green.

T-Pain's performance FINALLY put a little life into the show. I like dude and I like his hustle. He PERFORMED!

Alicia Keys irritated me. Why? Because she should have stepped back and let SWV, Envogue (COMPLETE WITH MY GIRL DAWN!!!!!!!!!!!) and TLC do their OWN little melodies. Sorry, that's just how I feel. The younger generation didn't get the FULL impact of how REAL PERFORMING IS DONE! Each one of those sets of Legends in the Making are beautiful, sexy and can hold a mic down without ONE COOCHIE POP.(If record execs are smart, and we know they aren't-they would clear budgets for these groups and let them learn the new generation how it's done.) You don't have Envogue on my television and not allow them to do their signature harmonizing. That is WRONG not to do so!

Neyo did the damned thing, even though I wish Michael Jackson would take notes and bring his ass back THE RIGHT WAY and let the new generation that Neyo, Chris Brown and Usher didn't create that sound nor those moves-show them why Mike is truly The Kang of Pop! Out of the three who performed, Neyo just came out and shut it Down!

Chris Browns set had me yawning. I loved the raindrop effect background, but simulated sex is sooooooooooooooo over. The best thing about his performance was when Ciara came out. The girl is Badddddddddd. Period. That back bend at the end KILLED IT!


Anthony Hamilton, Jill Scott and Maxwells tribute to Al Green was the Nirvana of the show! (Seriously, didn't you want to make cheese grits joke when you think of Al?)Al got up and showed out! I was ready to change the channel until I realized they didn't give Quincy his award as of yet.


Keisha Cole. sigh. I love the girls voice. I really do. She reminds me of a young Candy Staton. One day Keisha is going to bring the razzle dazzle. I am keeping hope Alive.

Rhianna, Beyonce wants her borrowed act back. Give it to her.


Though Weezy makes me itch-I can't take away from his performances. I was also surprised that he gave the most impacted speech of all last night when he accepted his award-We can't do Nothing without God in our lives. Truer words have never been spoken.

I am not being egotistical, but I KNOW I can put together a better show for the people than what I have been seeing these past five years. Test me and find out.

What's Old Stays OLD

I don't know why exes can't stay EXES. I mean, I am a good person and my Taurean loyalty will have me try to work on a relationship, friendship or family til I just give up and realize it is all for moot. Seriously. That has been the cause of so many of my heartaches, not knowing when to just cash in and walk away from dead ends.

Well I have been working on it. A lot of people are pissed about it, but oh well. I don't blame anyone because I ALLOWED it to happen. I don't even blame myself because that is just one of life's lessons when you stray from Gods protection and path. Real Talk.

I fight everyday with that spirit of Dinah. (read your bibles heathens) lol

Well, my CRACK has had the urge to all of a sudden try to contact me. (I call him that because for YEARS I was addicted to his tookus.) Last november I finally woke the hell up and say ENOUGH. When I said Enough I actually meant it. I went on to another jerk but thankfully I didn't have to learn the hard lesson-he did.

Dude has been messaging, texting and calling all day today. When will he learn that he is on ignore?

My late and favorite aunt (sigh, I miss her soooooooooooo much) use to sing this song by The Poets, She Blew a Good Thing, only she would change She to He. Whenever I heard her singing that song, that meant another divorce was on the horizon. lol I used to call her La Liz as in Liz Taylor because of her divorces. lol

Well, she passed that mantle to me. Whenever that song drops into my spirit (I like to think of her as my guardian angel that God uses) I know that SOMEONE is trying to tell my loyal stubborn ass something! Usually not too long after THE END actually comes. No lie, no exaggeration.

I often wonder if they realize that you are actually HAPPY and the devil lets them know that you are happy and BAM. But I usually know that when it doesn't bother me anymore, I am truly OVER it. I can't do that break up to make up dance.

Of course I will continue to ignore him. Why, cuz he DID blow a good thing. Me.

Gangsta Squirrel

Man, everytime I see or hear about a squirrel, mother and my sister come to mind. Apparently, they have gangster ones.

My mom (rest her soul) called me at work one day tickled. Gangsta squirrel 1 obviously tested his gangsta with the wrong person and they scalded his ass. He had a ring of pink around his neck and where there was no more fur. Gangsta Squirrel 1 saw my mother opening up windows and she jumped when that squirrel banged on the window and started cussin. (By this time I had my head with my hand over my mouth) Now I know that squirrel really didn't curse, but my mother was tickled at how mad he was. Like it was her who scalded his ass! What killed me was when she swore he was pointing to his neck and hitting the window like, "You see what they did to me?"

Then my nutty sister called me Sunday and there SHE Goes with Gangsta Squirrel 2. She said she was in the yard piddling around and tossing mothballs (which are supposed to keep the squirrels away) around her herbs. ( no she wasn't smoking thyme or parsely) She said she saw the squirrel and he came right up to her. (We call everything a He) She said she tossed a mothball at the squirrel and he picked it up and took a bite as if to say "What?"

Mannnnnnnnnnnnn, I am cracking up now laughing.,

Top 40 Hunching songs, Part I

Ok, I have a kindred spirit here on Myspace. I ventured over to her blog and man, she held it DOWNNNNNNNNN with her top forty love songs. I didn't want to hurt too bad so instead of the top 40 Get It Get It oooooooooooh Weeeeeeee songs-since we both are new to the age of 40 (get the theme?) I am going to take it back. Back to the 80's where big hair and fly girls ruled.

I loved to dance and I loved boys. But I was a TEASE in the worse way. My loves lasted about as long as my hubba bubba gum. When I think back, I laugh, smile and even let a pinch of melancholy come over me. Haven't seen the vast majority since the 80's-90's and those that I have seen later in life, I am glad that those weren't choices, just stopovers! lol So as I list my songs, I know I will chuckle because I am a mental jukebox.

I am talking about blue lights and an oatmeal box full of quarters at a house party. Brass Monkey on the sly and giving that cute dude blue balls because I was a "Good Girl" and like Janet said, "Let's wait a while." You and him in the corner "slow dragging or hunching."

I can list these songs because there was no ALL THE WAY. Just moments and times in a gals life.

40: Nobody does it better-Carly Simon -- Nuff, said.

39: Save a Prayer-Duran Duran--even though my head was on his shoulder, my heart and mind was dreaming of John Taylor the bassist for Duran Duran. Those fabulous videos helped to feed my imagination...

38: The Morning After- Alexander O'Neal- Ok, I was a freshman in college but I liked this dude and whenever we danced, he would have to song playing. Too bad he was as interesting as drying paint. I know he was trying to say something, but I wasn't listening! lol

37: Please Don't Go-Boys II Men---This was another one of his songs, I unfortunately have to associate him with this song. I can hear him caterwauling now. Yuck.

36: Tender Love-Force Md's---I had the worse crush oh Jesse McDaniel back then. Even though TC sang most of the leads-I picked ole Jessie.

35: Love Ballad-LTD---mannnnnnnnnnn, that was ma jammy jammmmmmmmmmm! I had a five minute crush on this dude name Santo and I danced with him to this song. My crush lasted exactly one song, he had THE HANDS and I wasn't having it!

34:Make it last forever-Keith Sweat---Man oh man. Yum Yum...

33: Do me baby-M'elissa Morgan---You haven't lived until you had a dude sing this in yo ear off key and you leave him witha nice set of blue balls.

32: Still in love with you-New Edition---I waited until my thirties to let this song get ruined for me, but I still love this tune

33: I'd Die without you-Pm Dawn---another minute and a half crush. Man, once they open their mouth or start with THE HANDS-I was OUTTA THERE!

32:Sensitivity-Ralph Tresvant---I swore if one more dude sang that song to me that they was going to get cut STAT! Mofo's behaving like dogs and acting like they were SENSITIVE. Miss me with that b.s.

31:As we lay-Shirley Murdock--The cheating song is NEVER a good song to sing in someones ear when you are trying to impress them. Yuck

30: I'm all out of love-Air Supply-Mannnnnnnnnn, first real boyfriend. I'm lying alone with my head on the phone, thinking about you to till it hurts...Actually, on the phone til my mother ran me off of the phone, then chastising me for "running up her bill." lol

29: The First Time-Surface---said boyfriend made a cassette tape for me and guess what was the first song? Unlike him, I still have the tape.

28: Stay the Night-Benjamin Orr---If you don't have this song, you don't have NOTHING. GO GET IT NOWWWWWWWWWWW!

27: Suddenly-Billy Ocean---I loved this song. Too bad I didn't love the guy I was dating at the time.

26:The Flame-Cheap Trick--I promised a dude this song and at the time I really meant the words, but I am a fickle chick. I want to give myself some credit, I think I kept that crush for at least a week afterwards, I believe.

25: Don't Walk Away-Rick Springfield---I dragged the bf to see Hard to Hold. It was hard for him literally to watch me get excited over Rick and in his pants and I wasn't having it.

24: I won't hold you back-Toto---Once upon a time, there was a guy and I danced the night away with him and he gave me a great kiss to this song. I didn't give him my number. I knew he would make me struggle. lol

23:Two Occasions-The Deele---cuz everytime I close my eyes, I think offffffffff himmmmmmmm...

22: Love me-Tracey Spencer-Palladium, NYC. Yes sirrrrrrr. Nothing like underaged drinking and hunching with a cutie pie.

21: All I do is think of you-Troop---H.M. You are probably old and fat and bald now. Let it be true...

20:You don't have to cry-Rene and Angela---Yes, I do, and I did.