Sunday, September 9, 2007

Video killed the Radio Star, but The Internet Killed the Superstar

Anonymity is a good thing. It really is. Everyone has a reality show. Who cares? Do I really want to waste an hour of my time watching you whine and moan or spend obscene amounts of money on panties? I mean really. It's only an ass. Who needs $900 worth of drawers?

I have no desire to watch the VMA's because I have read everything there is about it. It will be on Youtube on Monday anyway and Mtv will run it ad nauseum. Mtv is already ruining it for me by showing the rehearsals-even the so called surprises online.

If you are online you pretty much knows who have purchased their awards before hand. The surprises are just not THERE. I am a purist, if I wanted to listen to pre-recorded tracks, I might as well listen to the damned record. Yes, I know first hand how hard it is to sing and dance, but guess what-I don't care. Push through that diaphragm and do that ish LIVE.

Plug in some amps, tune a guitar, a bass, and bring out a slamming kick assed drummer. We will forgive you if you have a keyboardist. Just PERFORM!

I don't want to go online while paying $1200 a year for cable. I want three hours of screaming like I was there and yelling at my tv-"DO THAT ISH GIRL/GUY!" I want the pleasure of scaring my cat while prancing around in my drawers and t-shirt emulating my inner insert artist here. When I get up to pee at the commercial, tease me to hurry up as if I were to tarry too long, I would miss something SPECIAL.

Don't cut backstage, I don't want to see my favorite artist high or drunk for ratings. I really don't want to hear many of them speak until they get speech lessons and diction lessons.

Too keep things exciting, bring in a loose cannon or two. A rebel. Someone who will have the producers and censors on edge. Reunite two formerly feuding performers. We the audience love that tear factor.

There really hasn't been a SUPERSTAR since the 90's. They are constantly in your face over and over. They aren't wearing panties (there goes the drawlz reference again)they are blatantly flaunting their status as assholes knocking real news off to reveal that a certain mother had her ass cheeks out once again.

Newsflash-stripping is now mainstream. It doesn't shock us nor titillate us anymore. Note to a few ladies, Tina Turner, Lola Falana, and Cher wants their acts back. For Pete's sake please, please, please find a new act!

Put the PERFORMANCE factor back into award shows. The razzle dazzle. The glamour, the fashion OMG fired your stylist!

Stop coddling these artists until they have EARNED the right for special treatment.

Most of all-keep it offline!

P.S.-find a real Comedian who is FUNNY. Plenty of them out there, find one-STAT-they keep the show moving!

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